Remembering the UnMothers of Mother’s Day

Today is Mother’s Day - the one day set aside, in a calendar year, to recognize our mothers.

I have a mother, and I have “recognized” her with the customary “Happy Mother’s Day, Mom” salutation.

But, alas, nothing more - no fancy flowers, gifts or the like. 

Bad girl, Jenny!   

Right? 

Well…WRONG!

The “official” Mother’s Day holiday is on my calendar through someone else’s doing. I did not get up one morning and decide that on the second Sunday in May, I would acknowledge my mother - no, someone else came up with that idea.

Now, don’t get me wrong, I think some of us need to be reminded that at least once a year we pull out all the stops and let mom know that she’s special.

But, there are some of us that don’t limit ourselves to one day. 

I would rather take one day off of remembering “mother” in light of the fact I have her on my radar the other three hundred and sixty-four days.

Small acts of kindness, practiced all year long, suit me, also a mother, much better than one big “bang for your buck” day and then cast under the bus for the rest of the year.

I will be spending the day with my daughter - yes, she does celebrate Mother’s Day! 

And, I confess, I love it!

I also love the random “remembering mother” moments that happen when I least expect them because they aren’t on a calendar.

BUT...this post is really about some other women...the Unmothers of Mother’s Day.

It’s about the women in our lives, not biologically connected to us or anyone else, that have mothered us with such love and kindness that they have earned the title “mother” and are worthy of inclusion on this very special day.

Today, I acknowledge the unmothers of Mother’s Day!

Let me start with Linda, my daughter’s godmother.

Linda has no biological children - but what a mother she is! My daughter is blessed to have this amazing, gracious and wise woman as a “mother” figure in her life. 

Linda’s reliable, consistent, unfailing and steadfast nature has been like a beacon on a stormy night on those occasions when I have not always been the “right” person for the job of “mothering” my daughter.

Then, there’s Remy, aka Remy-Mama; a mothering-angel from heaven! 

Remy also had no biological children - but loved and raised my daughter as if she was her own. Her loving, patient and inspiring nature helped develop those same attributes in my daughter. 

I am, and will forever be, in Remy’s debt for the kindness and commitment she put into caring for my daughter as her nanny; while I, a single mother, worked myself silly to support the three of us.

These are just two examples of the unmothers of the world; amazing women that are often relegated to a back seat because they are not “real” mothers in the eyes of society and there is no singular date on the calendar recommending them for recognition.

Tsk, tsk…

Real mothers...what actually is a “real” mother?

Are you a mother just because you can produce a child from your body?

As you read this, pause, and think of the women you know - all of them, then ask yourself  how many of these amazing women, that have crossed your path, are worthy of the distinction of “mother” solely on their mothering nature, and not because of their ability to give birth to a child.

How about the woman, a single child herself with no children, caring for her ailing mother?

How about the woman that volunteers as a Big Sister, because she loves children?

How about the woman, who adopts a child, just because?

Or the woman, that really doesn’t want children, but is absolutely the best auntie on the planet and spoils her nieces and nephews silly?

Or the woman, that is unable to have her own - and suffers a lifetime because she feel incomplete - but would have been the most incredible mother ever?

In every corner, on every street, in all the cities around the globe there is a woman that is worthy of being honoured on this very special day, solely because she excels in the mothering department - without biological connections.

To all the unmothers of the world - this post is for you!

HAPPY MOTHER’S DAY! ENJOY!

Is there an unmother that you remembered today?

Cheers, Jenny