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Tuesday, November 15, 2011

Mother Monday



For some time the daughter had stewed about the inconvenience of being in such close proximity to her mother.
The phone calls at all hours; the “Hello! Anybody home?” chiming up the stairs from below; it needed to stop, or at least be checked.
Yes, the old woman needed boundaries and devoting one day a week to her seemed like a logical and practical solution.
It took a little time to iron out the kinks and get it on track, but once Mother Monday was established as “her” day things slowly settled into a very doable and rather likeable weekly event.
The weeks passed and as the Mondays would come and go the daughter realized her mother was a rather interesting woman, who had lived a very full, energetic life.
Oh to be sure, the old woman’s life had had periods of great sadness; the separation from her parents and only sibling when, after marriage, the decision had been made to settle in a foreign country; the language barrier - an almost insurmountable obstacle in those early years; the purchase of a home equalled years of hardship and hard work; raising a family without the help of relatives; and the divorce...ah, the divorce - a topic that would span several Mondays and lead the daughter to realize her life wasn’t that different from her mother’s.
The other day, on their Monday outing, the two could be found running banking errands; picking up goodies at a specialty store in preparation for the upcoming holiday; and dropping into their neighbourhood supermarket for a few necessary staples.
It was a short Monday outing, but an outing nonetheless, filled with bits of laughter punctuated by stimulating dialogue and comfortable silence.
Finally at home, the old woman settled onto her comfy sofa; with remote in hand she let out a big sigh - she was tired. She was aware of her lack of get up and go, and wondered about her breathing; it had been problematic as of late.
She was distracted by the daughter’s voice as it chirped a happy, “Hey mom, it’s me!” - a little routine her daughter had introduced lately so as to not startle her when she was dozing on the sofa.
The old woman smiled.
She looked up at the daughter, as she entered the room.
“I love you,” rolled gently off the lips of the old woman.
Unaccustomed to verbal, and non verbal, displays of affection from her mother, the daughter, somewhat taken aback, replied, “I’m sorry, what did you say?”
“I love you.” The old woman extended her arms upward indicating a hug was being offered.
The daughter leaned down toward her mother, accepted and returned the hug, and whispered “I love you too” right back.
Mother Monday had become an old woman’s gift to her daughter - a gift the daughter would hold onto and cherish long after her mother spent her last breath.
Have you taken the time to get to know the person behind the title of Mother? If so, what have you learned about yourself in the process?
Jenny


11 comments:

  1. I have always wished for a great relationship with my mother. But, I am never going to get that and I have come to accept it.
    I think she taught me about the kind of mother I didn't want to be.
    She did teach me not to judge people. It is ironic that the older she gets the more judgmental she gets.
    She is one of those people that hides her head in the sand. Doesn't want to see some things.

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  2. By the way, I think when you can get an "I love you" or a hug or maybe both you are very fortunate to have that.

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  3. It's great to see someone who really loves and appreciates their mother. Without my mother I'd probably be long dead so she'll always have a special place in my heart. Great post as always Jenny.

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  4. I like to think my Mum is one of my best friends. We shop together and can count on each other to be an ear when we need one.

    (sorry I haven't been around much, life has been a little crazy)

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  5. Such a wonderful post. Made me smile.

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  6. Glad to hear you and Mutti have come to an agreement. She helped make you the amazing woman that you are so I knew she had to be somebody pretty special to begin with.

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  7. I haven't lived in the same city with my mom for over 30 yrs. but I call her and my dad at least once a week for a chat. You should see some of our phone bills!!!

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  8. Another lovely piece of writing Jenny. I was moved by it, and I always think that's a sign of good writing. I was very close to my mum, and I still miss her very much indeed. I have a very close, loving relationship with my two daughters, and I always tell them how much I love them, and they do the same to me :)

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  9. beautifully written made me smile and at the same time made me miss my grandma

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  10. YeamieWaffle

    Thank you for your kind words. I'm happy to read you hold your mother close in your heart. It sounds like you two have a special bond - I think that's wonderful.

    My heart always aches for those that lost their mothers early in life - I can't imagine life without mom (well, on occasion when she pushes all my buttons simultaneously then I do) as she really has been there for me.

    Cheers, Jenny

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  11. I am busy catching up yet again, this time after the Olive Harvest. What a lovely piece of writing which brought tears to my eyes, as I had a great relationship with my Mum. Bless her she passed away just a few short months ago.

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Thanks for sharing your thoughts.