Friday, October 07, 2016

Time drifts on, regardless.


When I last posted I was on route to the Vancouver Story Slam - I had a blast. 

No, I did not take home the gold, aka 1st prize. (nor 2nd or 3rd for that matter)

But then, that was never my goal - I aimed to read one of my Flash Fiction pieces in public and that is what I did.

I was the second of ten readers - not the best "impact" position, however, I was happy with my read and with the reaction to it.

Alas, it was not a funny piece and it appears, well at least on this particular day, humour took home the gold.

Whereby Mommy Dearest advised, "Ja, da next time you make dem laugh because you are da funny one."

Okey dokey...


However, I don't bow to the pressures of what the public wants as much as I bow to what I  wish to give the public - giving them something dark and morbid was right up my alley that day.

I read this piece titled "A Few More Minutes". (added here for your perusal - please enjoy)

Ches looked out the window and wondered how far a drop it was. His meds were wearing off and the doctor wouldn’t refill his prescription until the end of the day. 

He damned himself for doubling up the dose but he loved the places they took him to, and lately he wanted to be there all the time.

Voices called to him from outside the window. This time he opened the small lower portion and stuck his head out. All Ches could see was the fire escape ladder. 

His window was right below the top landing, not within arm’s reach of anything. If there was a fire he would have to jump to the lower landing.

Looking down at it he had the oddest sensation the landing was moving upward, coming closer and closer to him. 

He pried open the window as far as it would go and inched his body out. When the metal landing was within reach he thrust his hands toward it and slid out of the window headlong down the building.

Looks like the landing hadn’t moved after all. 

Ches lay in a heap unable to move, his eyes darting in every direction as he watched twisted limbs poke through the decaying wall, trying to grab him. 

Slithering charred bodies inched their way up and down the building toward him. 

No one had seen Ches fall, or even heard the thud. Seems his number was finally up. 

Or not, as the fire escape door creaked open releasing a faint, whimpering voice that filled the air with suffocating heaviness.  It came closer and closer to his face then the voice was upon him, pleading in his ear. 

Help me Daddy, help me.

The thunderous screeching of train wheels, grinding to an emergency stop, now pierced his ears and bore a hole in his skull. 

Ches tried to reach up and cover his ears, no chance, his arms were laying there, off to the side, totally detached from his body. Though he saw no blood he knew they were his arms. The tattoos were the giveaway. 

And, when did he get that big rat tattoo? he wondered as his eyes rolled back in his head.

Voices came and went, and light soon faded to dark. All around the air grew rancid, putrid bile clinging to unwashed hair. 

Ches opened his eyes to see his legs walking away from him, all that was left was a blob that was his dismembered body. 

He called out, and laughed at what he heard. He cawed, a piercing cry, as he tried to scare off the other crows trying to take his kill.

Who’s been killed? he wondered, as he laughed and cawed again. He watched as crows started ripping his chest apart. Pecking furiously at his breastbone, pulling back more flesh. 

With great effort he rolled his armless, legless blob of a body over. Now, face down he looked through the sewer grate in the street where he had fallen. 

Peering back were bloodied, scab riddled, vacant faces, jeering. Some poked long glass shards at his eyes. 

One oozing, bloodshot eyeball now hung loose alongside his nose. Lifting, and shaking his head from side to side he watched it like a hypnotist’s pendant. 

The pleading voice still echoing in his head. Daddy, Daddy.

His heartbeat faded, his remaining eye closed. The cawing grew muffled and the shards disappeared. 

Slowly, his breathing grew rhythmic.

"Looks like we got to him in time. A few more minutes and he’d’ave been a goner." 

"Maybe that’a been for the best. They say his wife and kid never had a chance. He should’ve died with them, ‘cause what he’s doing sure ain’t living.”

There you have it.

Now, my seriously excellent buddy, Gerry, gave me this feedback, “You’ll need more meat on the bone if you expect the average dude to get it.”

Well, there will be no more meat - and that’s that. 

_____________________________

On to other things...

I was in Montreal, Quebec the other day and here are some shots of that little adventure.

Dare I say... what a beautiful city; very European, and definitely worth a second trip. 

Enjoy.

Must start any vacation in the right frame of mind.. and body.
Walk to the top of Mont-Royal, seems I wasn't alone in that idea.
The view... okay, worth the hike!
A tad disappointed with this "tourist attraction" considering all the hype!
What goes up must come down! 
Check out the bike rack! In the University area.
It's the staircase that got me. You too?
Young love - immortalized.
The things some aliens will do to get in my shots - tentacles galore!
Museum of Fine Art - Pompeii Exhibit. Oh yeah!!





Yes, I took this photo. What can I say, I'm into all things cheeky!


Front...
Back.
The end of my POMPEII pics.
(A billion more, but I know there's a limit, eh!)
Lots of churches in Montreal... I mean lots. 
The Big One - Basilica Notre-Dame.
(I've seen bigger in Germany, but hey, this was pretty impressive.)
Yes, I took this - don't know how it looks like I pinched if from some 1940s movie though. 
When under construction, buildings are under wraps - fake exterior wraps.
The wind picked up and whipped it around.
End result. 
One of many historical streets in Old Montreal. 
Chatting it up with a couple of solid gals. 
A touch of times gone by.

Time really does drift on... so stop and drink in the beauty around you.



13 comments:

  1. Hi Jenny - you left the poor chap with 'nout' in life ... I think I might agree with Gerry - a little more meat?! Not that sort - padding - perhaps ...

    Montreal must be a wonderful city to visit ... glorious places to visit and see - thanks for sharing some of your gazillion photos -cheers Hilary

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    1. Hi Hilary, Thanks for stopping in for a visit. Part of my mission (should I choose to accept it) is to awaken the imagination. So in this story I'm curious as to what the reader (you) envisions. I want the story to take on a certain life of its own whereby Ches becomes relatable, or recognizable as someone we might really know. By giving only a certain amount of information I'm wanting the reader (you, hehehe) to see what your imagination paints.

      Let me know what you gleaned from this tale - who is the man, what actually happened to him, how does the voice factor in - and the train... does he die, or is he saved at the last possible minute???

      These questions I leave for the reader to build on and let their imagination add the wanted "meat". :)

      Ah, the joys of being me... my need for sparsity - not only in my writing drives more than a few folks crazy! Hahahaha

      I was on business in Laval and tacked on 3 nights in Montreal - what a wonderful city indeed.

      Sending smiles and hugs your way, Jenny xxoo

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  2. Enjoyed the photos, Jenny, and I especially like the last one! Never have been to Montreal, but one of the daughters is moving to Ontario soon, so maybe sometimes I'll do a back east trip. . .if hubs can manage it. I'd like to go by train. I thought the story was well done - you should try the WEP challenges which are also flash.

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    1. Hi D.G. - wonderful to see you stopping by, thank you.

      I'm glad you enjoyed travelling vicariously to Montreal via my photos. I was in Quebec City years ago but failed to get to Montreal. Now, with a quick business trip to Laval, I enjoyed 3 wonderful days/nights in this truly spectacular city. As I am from Austria, and appreciate old buildings, this was truly a treat.

      I do hope you get out to Ontario, it's beautiful too. I'm hoping hubs is improving, and that he too will make the journey out East.

      Thanks for reading the story. Please enlighten me on the WEP challenges... I'm not familiar.

      Take care... you do know I'm still on for coffee should time ever present itself. :) :) Jenny, xxoo

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  3. First, welcome back. I've missed you lots.

    Second, third and fourth: hot damn girl. Great job on both your story and reading it. You rock.

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    1. Hi Ivy, thank you for your thoughtful little notes, they make me smile when I open my mail. Too kind, but much appreciated.

      Thank you for stopping by and taking a read, mean lots. Sending happy thoughts your way, Jenny xxoo

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    2. Hey Jenny - Very cool to have you back.

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  4. I thought the story was pretty good and chilling actually. Montreal is beautiful and so much to see and do. I have a picture of that same corner building. If you loved Montreal then you will love Quebec City

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    1. Hi Birgit - smiles are on my face seeing your Avatar here in my comments... thanks.

      I'm so please you read the story. Did you let your imagination run with it and fill in the missing meat.

      I posed a few questions up in the comment I left Hilary, if you wish to see the direction I want readers to go in. This story could easily be stretched and filled with so much more, but I enjoy letting my readers (or listeners) fill in their own interpretations of my words.

      Re Montreal, and that photo, when I downloaded my photos and saw it I was a little miffed with its sepia look. I remember taking it and thinking it sort of didn't quite fit in with the style of the other structures, though they too were very old - just different.

      I did make it to Quebec City back in 2005 as a grad gift to my daughter for persevering with her French Immersion studies. Very beautiful too.

      Thanks for visiting, it's always a treat seeing you here in my comment section. Smiles to you, Jenny xxoo

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  5. Great story, definitely challenging. It's never a good idea to write what you think people want to hear/read, because next time it might be horror or romance that wins out - you just have to be true to the story you want to tell.

    Love the photos.

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    1. Hi Annalisa, thank you for your encouraging words.

      I've always written from within and for me, never trying to please an audience because at the end of the day it's all so subjective.

      I know this story could have used some padding, which indeed would have made it flow or make a little more sense to those not wanting to think. That will be my undoing as a writer, expecting my readers to think and to partake in building the story. Ah... it's a good thing I have a day job. LOL

      I appreciate your visit, and your smiling Avatar - both have added to my joy and happiness. I wear a smile now even as I type this. So thanks!

      Sending smiles and happy thoughts your way, xxoo

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  6. I am so glad you came here to Montreal!!! I have lived here all my life and still find things that I hadn't seen before, it is such a big city. I wonder if you got to see St. Joseph's Oratory? I have been there many times and there is just so much to see. Thanks so much for sharing your tour. :) I am very happy to see you back, a very warm welcome back to you.

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Thanks for dropping by and sharing your thoughts.

I'd give you a penny for them, but alas we just snuffed it out. Yup...gone!
It's all about the nickel now...so at this rate you can leave 5 thoughts!

Cheers, Jenny

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