Friday, April 10, 2015

I is for IGNORE - the ice cream is calling.

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Welcome to Pearson Report.
I am participating in the 2015 A to Z Challenge.

Yes, I will be adhering to my THEME Calendar.

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Hello my sweets, your well wishes have set me right, I'm feeling better so expect some company knocking at your blog doors today! Thanks for your HELP, yesterday, as I weathered my storm. 


OKAY… HERE WE GO…


Today, I'm sharing my intimate, and very personal, diary entry, regarding yesterday. IGNORE any foul language, I did! 


Dear Diary,  

I’ve been yucked, royally, and most annoyingly so. This immaculate conception business is not up my alley. If I’m going to go into labour there had better be something to show for it. Not that it has to be an actual child, mind you.

It happened so fast, without warning. Mother (bitch) Nature can go to hell if she thinks I’m putting up with this kind of pain.

Not a bladder infection the doc says, could be you’ve passed a kidney stone, she says, not really sure. The early results are inconclusive. Here, take your pee to the lab and let’s see, she says as I'm ushered out the door. 

Damn… it’s not enough I’ve weathered giving birth, the raising of said birth, the business of starting the whole bleed monthly bullshit, then ending that joy, with worse heat waves than any yet recorded.

Then there’s this irritability zoo I’ve been stuck in for the last 5 years. The good news is all my pals are locked up with me - good fun, ha ha. We’ve all become this pack of crazy hyenas wondering when the good years are supposed to arrive. Seems they’ve been delayed in the mail, with that lottery check.


Okay, dear diary, I’m done with this rant, like wasting my time telling you is going to lighten my load. Not! That’s what booze is for. 

So after I stop and pick up some wine, I’m off to enjoy a huge bowl of ice cream and IGNORE everything (and one) that gets in my way. It’s that or I need to renew my gun permit! 

Hmmm… now there’s a thought. My trigger finger is twitching as I write this.

What’s your go to thing for coping with life*? 
*children, work, spouse, breathing, sharting, kidney stones… and everything else. Maybe all of these in this order.


ICE CREAM or BOOZE? Come on, you know it's one or the other! 




Let's vote… which picture holds your vice?  


Cheers, Jenny

A special shout out to Arlee Bird, from Tossing It Out. He’s the Founder and Creator of the  April Blogging from A to Z Challenge, As well as being a blogging friend, he is a great motivator and an inspiring leader. Thanks Lee - you rock!

23 comments:

  1. It used to be ice cream, a lifelong love, but now has to be wine or Sherry/Port. My tummy can only take so much of either one, and now I'm lactose intolerant. I went through the heat wave too. Sheesh. Life can be a bitch, so we don't need to be.

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  2. Ice cream, booze, nap.
    Works for me.

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  3. Definitely a glass of wine - got to be white though, I don't appear grown up enough for the red stuff (really, how does anyone drink that, it tastes like vinegar!)

    Annalisa, writing A-Z vignettes, at Wake Up, Eat, Write, Sleep

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  4. Wine for me - a nice cool glass of white wine! Solves most things, and seems to help the writing flow as well.

    Annalisa, writing A-Z vignettes, at Wake Up, Eat, Write, Sleep

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  5. So sorry to hear you were down for the count yesterday - happy you're back into the ice cream. I don't choose between those icecream and booze. My thing is charcuterie and cheeses ! Yum.

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  6. Prescription drugs. ;)

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  7. Sending greets from another co-host, AJ Lauer (I'm one of her wHooligans). I am trying not to laugh my head off right now because there is a sleeping person very close to where I am sitting.

    What ticks me off about this whole monthly female business is that it should have gone away after my tubal ligation. NOT SO LUCKY. Generally, I self-medicate with ice cream (cinillamintmocha is my favorite) or cigarettes. I could probably stop smoking if I was on retreat, in a cave, far away from any family, or living creature ... for about a week. DH will go out and buy me a pack after I've been off them for a while. Apparently I have an attitude problem from about 4-6 hours in.

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  8. I take baths. Calms me down and I come up with solutions to my problems. I still have not come up with a way to pay for mounting medical bills. But, my solution is they will get paid when they get paid. You can not get blood from a turnip.

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  9. I have put Baileys Irish cream over ice cream-It is really good. That happens when I see a stupid tampax commercial saying "You're a woman now" while they jump for joy in a white bathing suit. Whatever man thought that up all I want to do is take their lower lip over their head and make them swallow. I had to deal with severe PMS-severe-I have broken 3 blinkers off 3 different cars and most knew to take a whip and a chair when they saw me come closer. Now that I have the ever wonderful hot flashes and love being in a snow storm just in my pajamas, I think the only thing that soothes my evil twin is chocolate. No one..that means men...better say that I am going through a woman thing or they will be speaking soprano and listening to Liberace records

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  10. Sometimes ice cream-hmmm any good left/overs

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  11. I just get up and do what has to be done usually, but there is some whining in there too somewhere lol I drink tons of water, don't want any kidney stones ever.

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  12. I am glad you are feeling better; hope they can figure out what caused the discomfort you were feeling. My go to thing is two fold, wine and chocolate :)

    betty

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  13. HA, not quite to the booze stage in life yet. Ice-cream is my one and only.

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  14. Ice cream and chocolate works for me :) sometimes a nap. Be sure to drink plenty of water. Hope you feel better soon!

    Inventions by Women A-Z
    Shells–Tales–Sails

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  15. An ice cold beer to take the edge off. I don't go hard on it, though!

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  16. I love my beer, but I don't want to associate it with yuck times. I'll save it for good times. When I'm like that I usually throw myself into work or a new project. Something new is refreshing and helps cast aside the pitfalls of life.

    Bushman
    2015 A to Z Challenge Ambassador
    @jwb81074

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  17. Sorry that you were in so much pain, Jenny. If it was a kidney stone, I hope it was an isolated incident. You really should follow up with your doctor, or a urologist. Take care of yourself, and I hope you're indulging in ice-cream.

    Julie

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  18. Pain sucks. Reminds me that we live in a fallen world, but a perfect one is to come.

    My go-to comforts? Chocolate and good books.

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  19. Oh chocolate ice cream indeed! Then a Heineken later while reading a book to forget my woes!! Decadent isn't it? Lol

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  20. Very sorry to hear that you were in this pain :-(

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  21. D.G. Hudson

    I’m laughing at the upgrade. Good call! I’ll sometimes pour Sherry/Port over my ice cream - the best of both worlds.
    What a bummer to read you’re lactose intolerant. Awww… what fun is there in not being a bitch! LOL Need to share the moods with someone! xo

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    Al Penwasser

    Well, I see we sing from the same hymn sheet!

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    Annalisa Crawford

    I have taken to preferring whites too. Used to love my reds, but then I went white! I agree, some reds to taste sour.
    Wine solves everything in my world. LOL
    And, I do some pretty good writing under the influence too! xo

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    Review from the House

    Hi Gill - thanks for popping by! I’m back to my old post menopausal self - which means I’m still a cranky old bitch! LOL

    Your got to treats are yummy - I like savoury things too, great with that wine! xo

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    susie

    HAHAHAHAHAHA - that’s too funny! Prescription drugs! Ah… you made me laugh - that gets a big High Five! xo

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    LuAnn Braley

    Hi LuAnn - Welcome to Pearson Report. Thanks for dropping in and introducing yourself! Glad to meet another Ambassador.
    I hope you’re having fun out there this A to Z? I sure am.

    I like the flavour combo of your self-medication! :) Some vices, like smoking, should be labelled as a preventative - it prevents woman (who smoke) from killing anything within a five foot radius! LOL Sounds to me like it’s your lifeline! :) :)

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    Ruth

    Baths are so relaxing - and good for us too. I’m fond of a hot bath, glass (or two) of wine and a good book. I only wished I had a deep soaker. It’s on the renovation wish list.

    It’s good to not let the medical bills stress you - that won’t help anything. Hmmm… I didn’t know you couldn’t get blood from a turnip - are you sure! LOL Hugs, xxoo

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    Birgit

    Yum to the Baileys trick! I’m a fan of liqueurs over ice cream.
    I laughed out loud, for real, with that comment about what the man should do that thought up the stupid tampax commercial.

    You’re right it is a man that thinks up those commercials, no sane woman would come up with that bullshit.

    Your comment has me in stitches. STITCHES! I think we’re twins that were separated at birth - I can relate to this comment as if I’d written it myself. You rock! xxoo

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    Lynn Proctor

    Good leftovers first, followed by ice cream - what do you think?
    Does that work? Because it sure works for me. xo

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    Pat Hatt

    Water is key - it’s also good for drowning in… well, us menopausal women won’t be what’s drowning… hahahaha
    I sure don’t wish you kidney stones - they are brutal. And I’m a tough cookie… so when I say that I mean brutal times 100.

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  22. betty

    Ah… wine and chocolate. Right after good leftovers and ice cream, which Lynn Proctor and I will be having first.

    We’ll head your way for the wine and chocolate - where we can even have whine with our chocolate! LOL

    Commiserating together about the pause-of-men! Hugs xo

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    Anne Marie Schlueter

    Well, dear Anne Marie - you are the envy of all of us old biddies here at Pearson Report.

    You realize we will track you down and suck all your youthful essence out of you. Anyone not yet drinking is at risk of having their life force drained. It’s like drinking from the fountain of youth.

    Enjoy your purity - make it last! Booze ages you! See… I’m giving you all the advice I should have taken! LOL Hugs, xxoo

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    Sharon Marie Himsl

    I read your comment and went right to the fridge and had water. I love water, but forget to drink it. I do drink tons of green tea, but plain water is still the best.

    Ice cream and chocolate - or chocolate ice cream - both work! :) As to naps, I really could use one around 4pm - seems that’s when my engine goes into idle! Smiles to you, :) :)

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    Nick Wilford

    Hi Nick - you boys and your beer! Well, I’m a fan of an iced cold beer, particularly after mowing my lawn on a hot summer’s day.
    Nothing better! Thanks for stopping in! Always a treat!

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    Jeff Bushman

    Good man - never associate booze with yuck! Gets messy! The good times is what it’s all about - or so we like to think.

    Finding something to distract me does work but ice cream really helps! This writing project I have has been a really good one for getting me on a different track. But… wine, or a cold beer, often sit right in arm’s reach.

    Thanks for dropping in - a true highlight! Cheers, :) :)

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    Empty Nest Insider

    I hope it was isolated too, Julie - that pain was unbearable. I’m not a low pain tolerance person so when I say it was unbearable - probably equal to the torture spies go through when caught! Yup, that bad.

    I have followed up - they can draw no real conclusion. I will keep an eye on it, hopefully it was a one-off. Ice cream helped!

    Thanks for your concern and kind words - hugs, xxoo

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    Susan Barclay

    I’ll say pain sucks! And how!! Do I sign up somewhere for that perfect one? :) :) As a Buddhist I try very hard to see this one I’m in as perfect. It is part of my journey I suppose that I am visited with pain and suffering! And ice cream. LOL

    Thanks for dropping in! With smiles, :) :)

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    Bouncin Barb

    Hey there sweet lady - how goes? Yup to the chocolate ice cream!
    And double yup to that Heineken - good call in the beer department. Hopefully the book is worthy of such accompaniments. Happy to have you drop in. Hugs, xxoo

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    The Happy Whisk

    It’s all gone now… I’m hoping to not meet with that devil again!
    Thanks for the visit, Ivy - you’ve been busy! :) :) xo

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    To everyone that commented - I’m sorry for the delay in these replies. Life sent lemons instead of oranges and I was busy squeezing! LOL

    You all ROCK! HUGS ALL AROUND! xoxo

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  23. Looks like you've been busy writing your butt off. Good on you.

    Will you continue after the AZ game?

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Thanks for dropping by and sharing your thoughts.

I'd give you a penny for them, but alas we just snuffed it out. Yup...gone!
It's all about the nickel now...so at this rate you can leave 5 thoughts!

Cheers, Jenny

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